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There once was a boy named Stewart

who had quite a nice sized head                                       

On Thursdays he would skip to the bakery

and there he would purchase loaves of bread


The bread came in all colors and flavors

like wheat and French and sweet

He'd leave the store with bags of bread

and his loaves would fill the street


But one time Stewart bought too many loaves

not three, or four, but eleven

And when he reached the great Scottish Steps

he tumbled down and ended up in Heaven


In Heaven he spoke with God

and God said "You've purchased too much bread."

Without missing a beat Stewart drew back two loaves

and smashed them onto both sides of God's head


Well the bread beating must have worked

because the boy is having lots of fun

Roaming the streets of Glasgow

as the great Stewart McLoaferson



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