THE OLD MAN AND THE TREE
One day an old man was walking alone in a park when he encountered a tree.
Old man: Well hey there fella.
Tree: Hello oldie. (the tree cannot talk but this is what the old man thinks the tree is saying)
Old man: What? Did you just call me oldie?
Tree: No. I like your sweater.
Old man: Wha- oh, thank you. My wife made it for me.
Tree: So. You think you're better than me?
Old man: Maybe. I used to bake meatloaves for a living.
Tree: I'm allergic to meatloaf.
Old man: I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like a tic-tac?
Tree: No thanks. I'm on Atkins.
Old man: Oh ok. Good thinking. I'm going to the store now to buy some Kool Aid.
Tree: What flavor?
Old man: I can't talk about that right now. But maybe someday.
Tree: I completely understand.
Old man: You are my best friend, tree.
Tree: I know.
Old man: Well, see you tomorrow tree.
Tree: Peace out brother.
And with that, the old man walked away, en route to buy some Tang that he and his wife liked to share. He mistakenly said Kool Aid to the tree, but the tree just let it slide. The old man and the tree remained best friends until the tree got engaged and moved to Detroit. Just before the tree moved the old man gave him a sweater that his wife had made, just for the tree. The tree cried at how thoughtful the gift was, even though it barely even covered 1/7th of one of his 1600 branches. The old man and the tree still get together once a year at the park where they met to share stories of tic-tacs, loaves, sweaters and loves.